Reflection.

Let me reflect back on my life 15 years back. I’m 33 so that would put me just getting out of high school which i never finished. I lied on my resume though and was able to land some decent jobs like in-house accountant, account coordinator and collections specialist. At the age of 23 I was done with that kind of work because it made me feel like i was a robot and driving in traffic was so repetitive and lame. I would look around me at everyone else doing the same thing I was doing everyday and felt like screaming and almost in a panic in what i envisioned my life to be like 10 years from that point. Which would probably be the same thing, same traffic, same lunch, same co-workers, same work on my desk, probably a different boss but you get my point. It made me quit that job in 2003 and I never went back to that kind of office work. It made me feel crazy. I needed something more meaningful to take its place because at that age I felt like I had a calling, like there was something I was supposed to do in this life  but forgot what it was. When I had all of that time off after not getting another job ever even up until now so I had time to think about this thing I was supposed to do. I lived like I was on vacation and thought about all of these new things i had read about on the internet pertaining to one’s spiritual growth. It struck a nerve. I wanted to seriously to into the field of Theology and Metaphysical healing and practices. It seemed like that field was what I was meant to do. Now I’m 25 and my dad lost hope that I would ever amount to anything at this juncture and so presenting the idea of going to a theologian’s school was kind of out of the question. I began to doodle being completely bored at home. My doodles started to develop its own style and a couple people told me I might have something there along the lines of being an artist. I didn’t mind the sound of being an artist, it sort of clicked with me and my personality real well. I continued to practice drawing and eventually got my hands on some watercolors which i would experiment with. Eventually I obtained a canvas and the rest is history right? Well not exactly. I spent the next few years exploring the realm of dj mixing, music being my second love to art. That turned out to be alright, not spectacular just alright. I didn’t make it in that field. Very competitive and my skill level just didn’t live up to par to what a real dj sounds like. So I got back into painting and drawing and I’ve always done work on photoshop as a graphic designer so this is what I focused on. I’m at the age of 30 now and I decide to enter my work into an art show. I do that. It’s great and I want to do more work and enter into more shows now. I do that. Now it’s today and I’m 33 and i’ve been to like a dozen art shows and have created more work for the world to enjoy. I just enrolled in an art class the other day and will start tuesday which im excited about because at the moment my artwork is really at a stand still and I don’t see myself selling any of my paintings because besides the couple i sold to my dad and the one to my brothers friend, i haven’t sold any and this makes me wonder if im really that good of an artist. I know I am and I do believe in myself but Im not connecting with an audience. Also I feel like I need to have my own style which I do believe I've obtained in sort of a way but I don't have that signature style yet. I don't have a brand of style yet. These things I need to produce in a consistent way so that I can become established and eventually start selling my paintings. Any advice?