Calling all adult club footers!!

My clubbed foot story:

I was born with bilateral clubbed feet. I am now almost 39 and am feeling the wrath of these feet really bad. My back. My back is in constant pain. My neck, literally from the base of my head (brain stem) to my toes. Oh yeah and then I get migraines and headaches so I guess that wouldn't leave my head out of the equation and feeling lonely on the pain train. No, every part of me is on the pain train and it's time to get off. But how? I just realized that the fact that I'm even upright is left completely up to my back. My back is carrying the entire load of my body because my calf muscles and the fact that I have no arch what-so-ever is the reason why none of my lower extremities have any part of the fact that I am an upright homo sapien. Otherwise, what? I would be like a cave-woman? How strange. Anyway, I'm constantly cracking, popping and cracking some more my neck, back, legs, lumbar area and sometimes the little tiny bones in my feet crack as well. But it's mostly my neck and back. There comes a time when my neck gets so sore that it won't crack for a few days, and those few days are a nightmare. It's a chronic condition that I know I must accept, but I just feel like this is no quality of life what-so-ever and I'm over it. I want my youthful life back when I did whatever I wanted to do and it felt fine. Now, even having sex is an issue because my legs are so stiff and awkward, it makes the other person feel like they're doing something wrong, but ultimately it's me and my back and leg issues and the fact that I'm even saying this is making it real and making it so much more pathetic than I ever thought of in my mind. Geez, someone help me.

THE LATEST FROM THE ARTIST

Venus conjunct Uranus in the natal chart stimulates your social and love life but is quite variable in effect. Much will depend on associated planetary aspects or fixed star conjunction. Favorably influenced, the Venus Uranus conjunction can bring exciting romances with enough personal freedom to enjoy a glamorous social life. However, a load of squares or oppositions to this alignment may lead to instability in your love life and sudden financial losses.

Whatever the case is, keeping an open mind and remaining flexible is key to bringing out the best of this aspect. Change is always a big part of your life, especially with love and money. Importantly, this is closely related to how you regard yourself, or your level of self-love.

You should have acute instincts in these areas of life so can anticipate change well, especially with experience as you get older. This could manifest as being one step ahead in fashion or social trends. Otherwise you are likely to stand out from the crowd in some way, or change again once everyone has caught up with you.

It is OK for you to fall in love at first sight and to go with your gut feeling in matters of love and finances. Always be ready, however, to adapt to changing circumstances. This is most important when you feel that your individuality and freedom are threatened.

If you do want long-term commitment in love then you will probably do best to find a partner who also values their own personal freedom. And like you, they may have something unusual about them, such as coming from a different cultural or ethnic background.

Internet dating may suit you and there may be some distance involved which requires air travel. Or perhaps your social and love life can be stimulated by air travel. Other ways to keep up the excitement in a relationship may be surprises and a high degree of kinkiness during naked bedroom gymnastics.

This aspect is known for producing a degree or genius in terms of creative talent. Whatever you put your hand to as a hobby or professionally, you will develop your own unique style and will need a certain amount of creative freedom if working in larger groups. While some may be shocked by your creative expression, at the deeper level your aim is to expose or enlighten through your progressive and futuristic vision.

Venus Conjunct Uranus Transit

Transiting Venus conjunct Uranus brings change and excitement with love or money, or both. Your increased need for stimulation can lead to sudden changes, or you may be subject to unexpected changes around you.

If things have become stagnant and routine with a partner, then you are more likely to rebel or do something to put the relationship at risk. If this does not produce the desired result, that is, more attention and fun, then you may call it quits. Just remember, that this urge for a thrill is a passing thing. Healthy stimulation can be found in amusements parks or with sex toys.

If single then you have an increased chance of scoring, and internet dating suits this aspect. Although you may enjoy the increased attention and excitement, a new romance started under this influence is probably going to run out of steam very quickly. The exception to this would be contradicting, longer term transits or moon phases.

Thrills can also be found through investing and you can go with your instincts when investing or shopping. A good time for impulse buying on fashion, cosmetics and jewelry. Do remember to spend within your budget because financial losses are just as likely as financial windfalls. Your creative talent is easy to tap into now and you can develop your own unique style. Surprises may also come in the form of invitations, gifts, compliments, or curious and kinky offers. 

It's crazy how for granted I took the art of typing, before. Before I started feeling the wrath that the desk job brings, the aches and pains and the wrath that comes with it. I also use my laptop and bedroom dj at home in probably not the right position either so I'm fucked right now guys, my back is hurting the worst and no relief in site. I always heard old people complain about their backs. My back this and my back that. Well, fuuuuuck.....now I know what the fuck they were talking about, because it's no joke, for real. So with that said, I'd like to talk about the recent drawings and paintings I've done. 

 This one is a clear example of...you're only as good as your art supplies are. Liquitex pouring medium (it looks like cum) is a miracle invention that makes the painting look so pretty like this. I would like to expand my pouring technique a bit but I kinda refuse to turn to youtube for help, so staying true to the naturalness of an artist's trial and error, this is how it's going to look until I choose to do so.

 Again, you're only as good as your art supplies are. This drawing was done with Copic Pens, small brush tip, medium brush tip and the pens 0.8 and 0.5 to create this nice look.

I love this drawing because it is so different yet still tries to send a message with words wrapped close to the abstract lines I've incorporated into it.

This painting got a make over and a well-deserved one I must say. Heart on his Sleeve is the title and I love it, one of my favorite paintings.

 This dude is a new dude (character) and I added a cursive word on the side titled everlasting. It suits it for some reason. That reason, as an artist I'll never figure out because things like that flow so naturally, it's not up to me to figure out, of course that is your job.

Years Later.....

So it's probably been about a good 3 years since my last post. I'm not going to say too much other than I'm creating again. I'm overjoyed by this. I'm painting and dj mixing again. Much better though. Well, I can't exactly say that bold statement. I'm an evolved painter and dj mixer, let's put it that way. It's so true when they say if you don't use it you lose it. When I first got back into everything I was a little rusty but the artwork came back super strong and new and improved. The dj mixing took a while to get better at. However, now it's on and crackin with my dj mixing. I just made the best mix I've ever made in my life. Very little mistakes, all done live dj mixing on virtual dj with 2 decks and my music library, no fancy help from fancy dj software, just me and those 2 decks raw and uncut. Here's the link: https://www.mixcloud.com/adriannejezin/flower-child/

         I am officially a woman, on my own, full-time job. Painting on the side, dj mixing nightly. No family obligations, no boyfriend, just me and my creative outlets and flourishing on a daily basis. I'm happy to be back and to share my new works with the world. Love you.